Claudia and Duffy

What I've always wanted

I was cooking. I was up late, again, another glass bead on a necklace of nights containing as little sleep as I ever got when I had to study for finals, and the realization poured over me of just how happy I am.

I get to see a lot of crap in my job, and have to put my hands in it quite often, but when you can get past being repulsed there's a lot of satisfaction even in that kind of clean-up work. Not that I can always get past being repulsed...but I wouldn't give it up now. Maybe even the repulsion is necessary to begin with if you're going to really care about anyone.

Best bit of advice I've received in a long time - "It's rude to tell other people that their troubles are boring." ~ Lemony Snicket. Because sometimes, their troubles are boring. But if I force myself to keep from telling them that with any kind of verbal or non-verbal language, I find myself getting interested in the end.

It is wonderful how being around people and their silliness and nobility and screwed-up lives and redemptive families and anger and insight keeps you sane.

Anyway. I wish I was a better person. But I sure do have a good life.

And I hope I get some sleep tonight. My mom gave me a special temperature-sensitive foam mattress topper for Christmas and it got here early today. I put it on my bed and stretched out to test it - within five minutes my sinuses were clearing and I had the best twenty-minute nap I've had in ages. I highly recommend this stuff they call "memory foam." At least get a pillow out of it - $16 at Wal-Mart - and your back will thank you for it.