Claudia and Duffy

Acts of God such as but not limited to lightning strikes, etc.

I just must say, I love my church. I was over at my pastor Travis' and his wife Kimberly's house, for a small group meeting. We had finished the main part of the discussion and were about to head into prayer time, when someone left to take a bathroom break and the talk turned to the jellybeans that were floating around the room in a bowl. (Well, you know.) Anyway, they were those Every Flavor jellybeans, like the ones in the Harry Potter books - every flavor meaning that in with the cherry and lime and licorice and grape you'd also have Grass Clippings and Black Pepper and Ear Wax and Booger and Vomit, et cetera. People were taking gambles with it - I saw one person courageously down a vomit followed by a black pepper. Apparently the flavor is exactly like what they're named for, except sometimes on the sweet side.

(Which brought up the question, do everybody's boogers taste the same? How did they research this? Or is it just the power of suggestion? No one was willing to test it in our group.)

Travis said that the elders use the jellybeans in their meetings with prospective members. Then he got a glint in his eye and went racing out of the room and came back with what they used to use - a funny little base with four metallic crescents sticking out of it, with some tubing or wiring dangling around it, looking vaguely like something a farmer might attach to the underside of a cow. He got four of us to take ahold of a metallic handle, which detached from the apparatus, and told us to press the buttons on the top of them when "the light turns green." He then turned on the thing. A large button in the middle of the base flashed red, faster and faster, while very ominous electronic music of doom came out of it. When it turned green, I pressed my button and threw the crescent-handle down, because I guessed what it would do - and sure enough, the person who had been the last to press his got a nasty electronic shock. This is what my elders sit around doing. Heheheeeheehe..... as I said, I love my church.