I finished reading Lewis' Space Trilogy again, and was richly rewarded. I never found the third book quite so fascinating before. Lewis' take on the sovereignty/free will tension is absolutely lovely, and one of the reasons I remain sane.
Speaking of sanity, my wonderful old friend and roommatten Gretchen Lee flew down to Chattanooga last Saturday, and I spent the next three days with her at her grandparents' home in Greenwood, SC. We were stupid the first day and spent way too long in the sun, and I'm still suffering for it. Besides turning very red in spots, in the past two days I've had to twice knock myself out with Benadryl for the heinous itching that periodically overwhelms all my other senses. Man. I'm never going out in the sun again.
(That's where Rachel says, "Tuggy, I wish you weren't a liar.")
So, yeah - That Hideous Strength. So cool, but so bloody. I never noticed that before, either. I thank God, somewhat reluctantly, for giving me some of the dreams that he has - I've dreamt that I was a murderer, or a child molester, or an abuser of some other power - so that I can better understand that my own heart is desperately wicked and that the only different between me and the scum of the world is that God has changed my heart and prevented me from doing such atrocities in actuality. So, for many horrible sins, I have experienced the temptation and the giving in, if only in my sleep.
But one that I have not experienced (at least not in a blatant form) is the temptation central to Mark Studdock's journey through the book - the need to be included in the powerful inner circle, and the lusting after darkness for the sake of darkness itself. At one point in the narrative, Lewis says something like "to anyone who has felt this, the mere mention of the symptoms will suffice to bring up full recognition" but that if you hadn't experienced it, no description would be adequate to explain exactly what he meant. If he is right in saying that (and I have other reasons than trusting goodwill to think that he is), then I surely have cause to rejoice, because even the little I can imagine is pretty hellish.
God doesn't allow all of us to be tempted in the same way, and I don't think any of us are tempted in all ways - except Jesus. Oh, Lord, how horrible it must've been for him.
Closer to my experience is Mark's wife Jane's journey, in which her supposedly noble motives are shown over and over to be petty and self-seeking to her own detriment - even evil, a label she doesn't acknowledge exists as a reality. Lewis has a great knack for chronicling the mind games that we play in second-guessing ourselves, trying to protect our consciousnesses from God's enormously irresistible courtship.
I miss GLee! I wish I'd known she was going to be in Chatt. I was just thinking about her. WAAAHH!
Posted by: tabitha at 05.22.04 12:02Wow, B. Just wow. Thanks for that.
I miss you. Let's do lunch or something.
Posted by: Emily at 05.24.04 14:47I love That Hideous Strength, but I definately need to read it again after listening to the C. S. Lewis lecturer this year go on and on about misogynistic C. S. Lewis. I really identified with Jane Studdock and have often found myself going through many of the same things she does. I think C. S. Lewis wrote her rather well. Now I admit, perhaps I am just a small-minded woman trying to fit things in a box, or maybe C. S. Lewis really knows what he's talking about when he's discussing free-thinking women and marriage. Yes yes, and you've got to love Mother Dimble.
Posted by: Linny Bob at 05.27.04 21:33